how much more
i have to learn about love
is it that love
does not expect
anything in return
is the love
in giving only
but
what about one way love
is it love then
or just a dream
I'm thinking of you even when I do not
Longing for you while you are so far away
I know you will be back, this is all so good for you
I know
You have new friends new home new life new experiences
You learn so much every day I know that all
But I miss you
is it that I really shouldn't?
This past month was like six months for me,
Next five may be like five years, I guess?
I would love to prepare myself for you
For our encounter there in the future
I'd love to be the best I can by then
Perhaps this is all good for me too?
But how I'd love to feel your lips once again
Would love to be embraced by you once again
Would love to laugh with you as before once again
But I ... I will let go..?
They say what love is great that was easy
But should I try to embrace this moment
and this very moment only..
when the pain that I feel caused by our separation
is just too strong and in a way unhand-able for me...
love
Lavi
it is so hard to be left. I do not know what time is this that you are leaving me, but it looks as the last one, it looks as it is determined this time, that you are not coming back.
Why is that, I may ask myself for a long time when I stay on my own. How is that I am looking at this situation now and although everything inside me is screaming please stay with me and do not leave me for good, no words can cross my lips, my hands are stopped beside the body, no movement, no tear, nothing I can do looks like will not keep you from going.
It was so long that we were truly happy together, still, hope was surviving somewhere inside for such a long time. Eleven years. And it is over now. I am shocked, as in some slow motion movie that is happening to someone else.
Where is the border of pain that can cut a man or a woman.. I am finding these as a very stretchable line, and the bottom is in suicide I believe. As long as we are alive, it can go deeper and deeper.
What will I do without you in my life. This really scares me. Like I am wearing bricks inside my stomach this whole day.. One may say, I have no rights to complain, wasn't this what I wanted, wasn't this the freedom I was dreaming of all these years.. wasn't I the one who couldn't go through together and had to finally make a step towards the.. whatever it might be...
Yes, it is true.. I do not know why I have to do this, and why we have to part, when we cannot pass thought these door together..
But still, it hurts. It hurts as I cannot describe it.
I am very afraid of this pain, I do not like pain in any way, and maybe it is the reason why I haven't take some steps much earlier..
I don't know..
PS. I guess, that is how I really am.. perhaps I should face with my true face and admit and accept like, yes, it is me, it is my way.......................................
Why is that, I may ask myself for a long time when I stay on my own. How is that I am looking at this situation now and although everything inside me is screaming please stay with me and do not leave me for good, no words can cross my lips, my hands are stopped beside the body, no movement, no tear, nothing I can do looks like will not keep you from going.
It was so long that we were truly happy together, still, hope was surviving somewhere inside for such a long time. Eleven years. And it is over now. I am shocked, as in some slow motion movie that is happening to someone else.
Where is the border of pain that can cut a man or a woman.. I am finding these as a very stretchable line, and the bottom is in suicide I believe. As long as we are alive, it can go deeper and deeper.
What will I do without you in my life. This really scares me. Like I am wearing bricks inside my stomach this whole day.. One may say, I have no rights to complain, wasn't this what I wanted, wasn't this the freedom I was dreaming of all these years.. wasn't I the one who couldn't go through together and had to finally make a step towards the.. whatever it might be...
Yes, it is true.. I do not know why I have to do this, and why we have to part, when we cannot pass thought these door together..
But still, it hurts. It hurts as I cannot describe it.
I am very afraid of this pain, I do not like pain in any way, and maybe it is the reason why I haven't take some steps much earlier..
I don't know..
PS. I guess, that is how I really am.. perhaps I should face with my true face and admit and accept like, yes, it is me, it is my way.......................................
Peace, Love and Light, to all creatures of all worlds. Truly, there is nothing else that we can do but radiate, shine, alone, by our own strength, His strength, Her strength, of Life itself, in ourselves.
That is alpha and omega, that is the law and fate, that is the only religion, the only teaching.
Above it there is none. All the rest are only dreams, projections, game, nothing real, nothing touchable, like the white foam on top of waves... Everyday life is a wave, sometimes with a foam, sometimes without.
Today it is here, tomorrow it is gone.
Ocean is real, his depth like the undisturbed kingdom rules.
Be like that. You all be like that. Ocean does not ask for anything, it requires anything. it just is.
And therefore, peace love and light in every moment of life, and death.
There is no death.
Truly death does not exist.
Open yourself to that power that is eternal, that runs through you. And let her reshapes you by its own will. Do not resist to her. Do not be afraid. She knows why.
***
All that has ever happened should happen.
Let that go, do not lose any more of your power on matters that have passed. Now - this moment - you can be what you are.
Everything has been resolved, everything has been forgiven, it is over. Now - this moment - your soul can become magnificent, as it was eons before you, and eons after you. Remove your small caterpillars from the path of your own happiness, your own joy, your celebration that has been promised to you, once for all. Free as a bird, from yourself, from others, from your need for others. Open to that power, and it will do everything for you. Do not believe - check it. With the fullness of your heart go into change and observe what will happen. Not a rock will stay on a rock and the light will be born. As many lights before it. This is a truly wonderful world.
I wish if
the sky could be bluer
to reflect the beauty of your eyes
and if the Sun could blush more
in the sunsets
perhaps it would reflect
the loveliness of your lips...
running through me like a warrior
in its heavy boots
looking nowhere
in the midst of the battle
eating the pieces of my strength
leaving me desperate
empty like a vase with no flowers
open windows on empty house
only curtains are shimmering out
blown by the wind power..
where are you
am i alone on this island where u left me
can your kisses travel through this distance
to the sunset of my hope
come to me, my lover boy
i wish our streams both collapse
in the waterfall
of ecstasy
and joy
You've gone
still - u are so close to me
I receive your empty messages
still - I know you are thinking of me
Walking
with your touchings under my skin
with your closed eyes in front of mine
Time will pass quickly
until our paths meet on the crossroads again
I refuse to think
shall we chose the same highway then or
we will part
Because
I believe
when two souls meet in that holly silence
of fulfillment
as ours did
we will always be in the same universe
as one
photo by kokero
can this be a poem :)?
...
photo(c) by Lavinia Amaldi
in my heart in my soul because of you...
ice collected through ages of the past
is melting rapidly..
i am afraid
last rare species of the loneliness and closeness
will
die
soon
if you
continue
to shine
on me
and please...
do persist...
Kiss me...
Lay your soft lips
upon the undulated shores
of my soul
which is whispering
that is in love with you
and let it last
forever
Kiss me...
Rub your dreams
around my
faint ankles
so my thoughts
could not get away
from this
melting
beautiful moment
Kiss me,
kiss away
all the gloom
collected in the
freckled dawns
of your
disappearances...
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