Jealousy

– A brief personal reflection –

How many times have we felt this emotion, in smallest or in its very strong presence?
How many times have we felt how negative and how destroying its effects are on us?
And how many (perhaps even more) times have we wished if we could become free of it, if we could be stronger, or whatever, just not to feel it, and yet, at the same time failed to succeed to overcome the reaction in the situation.

We all know, it does not matter what the type of the situation is, it could be something job related, new colleague that knows a job better than us, so he/she may pose some kind of threat to us (or at least that is how we perceive it), or - of course, so-called "love"-related, when we see a potential concurrence in a new or better looking or whatever better, third.

Especially all of this, if "our" partner would not seem to react on the certain way which would help us feeling happy and secure. Was there then a feeling of fear, a feeling of insecurity, a feeling of defeat, a feeling of even anger, righteous one of course from our point of view, often, too often in dealing with it we would create such a drama just that the attention of the other comes to us again, even in this negative way, pulling, pushing, controlling, how ugly all this would be for even our own eyes if we would be looking from the outside, we also witnessed this probably not just once in our lifetime in stories of others and..

After all our experience and knowledge as a humankind, through all these aeons and decades and centuries of civilized history, yet, even today, even some very educated people, calling themselves psychologists are advising that a little jealousy is good in relationship, "showing it is alive and healthy", even they cannot imagine the world where jealousy would be not, and where we could live as free and loving, caring beings in our full potential as we all have it in ourselves. How is that we still do not know where this feeling or rather "state of being" is coming from, and how we can live free from it's claws.

What is the root of it? May my love relationship save its exclusivity and get rid of the possessiveness which is behind jealousy? Because behind jealousy is possessiveness, and behind that - fear of losing of something that I believe is "mine", or at least should be mine, because it "means" so much to me and because somehow that "possession" adds a value to me as well.. What has this to do with love?

I believe you'll agree, very little. I’d say, almost or even nothing.

In the root of jealousy is not the fear only. It is also - or at the very beginning of it - the un-knowledge of our own self. Of our own wishes, desires, potentials; restriction that we from whatever reason place on our own life (through which we also then feel to have "right" to control the other), so that in the end we DO NOT live our own life fully but to-some-extent only; that we are suppressed (by us and us only), and feeling miserable , somewhere deep deep down in ourselves we actually KNOW that we have killed our true being, that we are not allowed to explore it, to taste it, to feel it, to breathe it, to give it, to share it. We have created our own prison, in which we had to find a substitute for "freedom" and direct experience of life, by "possessing of another". That the feeling of possession gives us the feeling of life which we are not living, calling it all "love", hiding our misery from everybody, and putting the pink shiny paper of "relationship" around it.

All because we do not feel free to be who we really are. To give ourselves the freedom to explore, to search, to look for what we really are. Wherever it may take us. We close ourselves in a pre-formed picture of "how-things-should-look-like", completely unaware that in that moment, it does not matter at all that we have done it "voluntarily" and alone to ourselves; we actually stop to live, we die, we are dead. Is it possible for a human being to be really happy in this arrangement?

I believe not. All experiences of so-called happiness in this kind of arrangement are illusory, temporary, substitutes for the real and full happiness. And they depend on the other.

So. Yes. There is a good news. Hopefully not news for some or many. But let me say it.

In our own freedom, to be who we really are, fully, authentically, lies the cure for jealousy.

Yes, we will have to let go of possessions. But be aware that no man had or ever will "belong" to us. So, we have to leave the very idea of it. And to accept that we are on our own. If we want to find out what real love is, what does that word mean in its very core, and to live on daily basis in the truth that we find, then, we have no choice but to turn our look inside, to learn to let go and to know that this means no end of the world, but the beginning of life.

Life, as it is, in all its beauty and glory.



PS. If we try to do so, in giving ourselves freedom to be who we are, we will become aware, in such a way that we cannot hide from the truth of that fact, that we will have no longer that “right” to keep the other person or whatever possession it is, in our prison with us, that we will have to give the same freedom to the other. And there lies the difficulty, because, once we give the real freedom to other person, that person may leave us and go away. But the choice is there.

True love needs no jail bars. And love within the bars is love not. It is anything but love. A contract, a comfort, however you name it.

We may choose that as well. But let us not expect (in that instance) that we may ever be fully and totally happy, peaceful and mighty, beautiful, as human beings may be or are in its essence. Jealousy is simply a part of the package, and it suffocates the true being.

But once, sooner or later, we will cross the bridge. We will become tired of fight, and we will feel such yearning for freedom that the invisible cuffs will no longer be able to hold us there.

And we will find what we were looking for.

Then, and just then, we may give our hand to the other in the sublimity of true Love.

Love Yourself

Just a thought came to me these days.. thought to share it with you..

"To love yourself.. is a first step to freedom.."..

 

 

Song

small movement on the branch
and the bird which sung all night long
went away

for the long dark hours
i've listened to her voice
full of softness and yearning
full of grace and purity
full of life and longing
full of fullness
and wondered

if my soul were a bird
would it sing so beautifully
as the little bird on the tree near my window
or would it be silent
silent as the sun in the morning

or would my song be always the same
from one tone woven
perhaps joyful
perhaps
sad..

i didn't know..
but when the bird left
my soul bowed to hers
with thankfulness..

Love

In deep love it happens that the two persons are not two.
Something between the two has come into being,
and they have just become two poles.
Something is flowing between the two.
When this flow is there, you will feel blissful.
If love gives bliss, it gives bliss only because of this:
that two persons, just for a single moment, lose their egos.
The "other" is lost, and oneness comes into being just for a single moment.
If it happens, it is ecstatic, it is blissful, you have entered paradise.
Just a single moment, and it can be transforming.

≈OSHO≈

How can people turn the human phenomenon of falling in love into a meditation?

How can people turn the human phenomenon of falling in love into a meditation?

IT IS THE EASIEST WAY. In human life, love is the closest phenomenon to meditation. The moment you fall in love with someone, what actually happens? What transpires between those two who have fallen in love with each other? They drop their egos -- at least for each other. They drop their hypocrisies, their masks. They want to be together, almost one soul within two bodies. That's the desire of love.


And this is a beautiful moment to change it into a meditation. Just nobody has ever told them. In fact, just the opposite has been told to them: that love is against meditation, so people who are falling in love can never become meditators.

THE SAME PEOPLE who make celibacy spiritual make love unspiritual, something dirty, condemned. But to me things are totally different. Love helps you to relax, which is part of meditation. Love helps you to be joyous, which is part of meditation. Love helps you, for a few moments at least, to be silent, which is the essential part of meditation. And finally, making love, if you attain to an orgasmic experience, gives you a glimpse of what meditation is, but it is millions of times more than this.

So to me, love is a basic experience which can help you to become meditators. The old religions have been preventing it, and they have been preventing it for a certain reason. If people can transform their love into meditation, then the priests and the churches and the synagogues are no more needed, then people are totally free. No spiritual leadership is needed. And there are millions of priests around the world, like parasites on humanity. And naturally they will give you wrong ideas, against love, and they will give you ideas for meditation, but because you don't have the basic experience....

LOVE IS JUST LIKE when you enter into a swimming pool, step by step you are going into deeper water. Then the floor of the swimming pool is divided in two parts, one for those who cannot swim, so the water is up to your neck, and then the second part for those who can swim.

But those who want to learn swimming have to learn in the first part, which is not for swimmers. They have to learn it there. Once they have learned, then slowly they will gather courage and enter into deeper water, because for a swimmer it does not matter how deep the water is; the swimmer is always on the surface. The water may be a hundred feet deep, five hundred feet deep, or five miles deep, it makes no difference to the swimmer. It makes a difference only to the non-swimmer. Beyond five feet, everything is death. But the swimming pool is one -- shallow, deep -- it is one. And the boundary line is only a line until you learn to swim.

To me, love and meditation are just like that. Love is the shallow space in a swimming pool, for those who cannot meditate. But that is the place to learn meditation. And it is the same pool, it is the same water, it is the same kind of phenomenon. You are just unable to go deeper because you have been made afraid even to enter into it. The shallow part has been condemned, and you have been told to jump into the deeper part without knowing how to swim.

So they disturbed your love life by condemnation and they disturbed your meditative life by sheer strategy: because you don't know swimming, you cannot go so deep. And you don't have any experience of silence, peace, sheer joy, a little bit of ecstasy, something orgasmic -- these will give you the hints how meditation is not a myth. You have tasted it a little bit. It is the same energy field, just you have to go deeper into it.

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS when one couple moves into the realm of orgasmic experience? What actually happens? Every point has to be understood. Time stops. For a moment the pendulum does not move, and that single moment seems to be almost eternity. The two persons are no more two -- for a moment. They have melted into each other. There is no thought in the mind, for a moment. It is all empty and silent, and these are the things which have to be deepened in meditation.

And once you have tasted them, you will be surprised that it does not depend on the other person. Something happens within you. Something happens within the other person. But it is not dependent. If you can sit silently, if you can manage, by watching your thoughts, to bring a gap, a stop, you will suddenly see time has stopped again. And now it is in your hands, not in the hands of biology. You can keep this time stopped as long as you want. And once you know the secret key....

The key is: no thoughts, no ego, no time -- you just are.

That's why I have never been against love. I have been much condemned for it, naturally, because I was cutting the very roots of the business of all the religions.


EVERY RELIGION IS against me. Their profession depends on condemning love and praising meditation. They know you cannot attain to meditation, and they know now your love is condemned, it is a sin. You will never experience any orgasmic phenomenon, so meditation will remain just a philosophy, and your life will remain loveless, angry, full of rage, ready to explode at any excuse. Because where will your energy go?

It could have become peace, silence, joy, blissfulness. You did not allow it to become that. That repressed energy turns into poison. That's why everybody is irritable, annoyed, worried, tense. The simple reason is that they have lost the natural source of relaxation.

No animal looks irritated, annoyed, angry, because they don't understand the language the priests speak.

They have never heard that celibacy is spiritual. Of course they cannot attain to meditation, but they are far better than those human beings who could have attained meditative heights, but have lost even the simple biological experience of orgasm.

THOSE ARE SIMPLY indications of your possibilities, potentialities. And it is easier to experiment with something natural in the beginning and then to try something which is supernatural, which belongs to higher nature.

And once you know how to be silent, how to be thoughtless, how to be in a state of no time, no mind, you experience such orgasmic joy, which has nothing to do with sex, it has such purity and such innocence.

A man who has attained to that purity and innocence has no need of sex, it is no longer a psychological problem for him. But there is no prohibition either. He can enjoy sex too, and he will enjoy it more than anybody else, because his orgasm will immediately become meditative.

Having experienced the meditative orgasm -- such a greater phenomenon -- his sexual orgasm will immediately trigger the bigger orgasm. He can play with sex. There is no harm in it. There is no need, but there is no prohibition either. It is up to him.

THE MEDITATIVE ORGASM absorbs your sexual energy, because you don't have any other energy. Your whole energy is sexual energy, and that vast explosion of joy simply absorbs all your energy. Hence, you need not become a pervert, you need not make an effort to remain celibate. It is just your choice.

If you want to play old games once in a while, it is perfectly good. In fact, perhaps it should be a part of every enlightened man's life to have sex once in a while, because that will change the attitude of the whole world about sex.

Without that, it is very difficult to change. Then they can see that even an enlightened person can enjoy sex. There is nothing sin-like in it. And it will join the enlightened man and unenlightened man in a bridge. At least on one point, both experience the same thing....

Love is a natural kind of meditation. And meditation is a supernatural kind of love.

What is Meditation?

Krishnamurti with Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche











http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiddu_Krishnamurti

The Whole World Is Sad Because Of Marriage

Osho


There is an interesting research on the fidelity of marriage published in The New York Times, ' The most consistent data on infidelity come from the General Social Survey, sponsored by the National Science Foundation and based at the University of Chicago, which has used a national representative sample to track the opinions and social behaviors of Americans since 1972. The survey data show that in any given year, about 10 percent of married people — 12 percent of men and 7 percent of women — say they have had sex outside their marriage.'

The researchers also see big changes in relatively new marriages. About 20 percent of men and 15 percent of women under 35 say they have ever been unfaithful, up from about 15 and 12 percent respectively.

But I think this is a very low percentage compared to the actual cheating game played by husbands and wives. Both the partners go on cheating and want that the other should not know about it. Can't blame them. The way marriage is structured, is stifling and everyone wants to breathe fresh air once in a while. Not a big crime for sure!

Osho hammers the outdated institution of marriage which has an inherent scope for infidelity.

Osho asks a pertinent question in his book The Messiah Vol #8

" What goes wrong between husbands and wives, even after a love marriage? It is not love, and everybody has accepted it as if he knows what love is. It is pure lust. Soon you are fed up with each other. Biology has tricked you for reproduction and soon there is nothing new -- the same face, the same geography, the same topography. How many times have you explored it?

The whole world is sad because of marriage, and the world still remains unaware of the cause.

" When you live together, the husband comes home late; there is no need, no necessity for the wife to inquire where he has been, why he's late. He has his own space, he's a free individual. Two free individuals are living together and nobody encroaches on each others' spaces. If the wife comes late, there is no need to ask "Where have you been?" Who are you? -- she has her own space, her own freedom.

But this is happening every day, in every home. Over small matters they are fighting, but deep down the question is that they are not ready to allow the other to have his own space.

"Likings are different. Your husband may like something, you may not like it. That does not mean that it is the beginning of a fight, that because you are husband and wife, your likings should also be the same. And all these questions... every husband returning home goes on in his mind, "What is she going to ask? How am I going to answer?" And the woman knows what she's going to ask and what he's going to answer, and all those answers are fake, fictitious. He's cheating her.

"What kind of love is this that is always suspicious, always afraid of jealousies? If the wife sees you with some other woman -- just laughing, talking -- that's enough to destroy your whole night. If the husband sees the wife with another man and she seems to be more joyous, more happy, this is enough to create a turmoil.

" People are unaware that they don't know what love is. Love never suspects, love is never jealous. Love never interferes in the other's freedom. Love never imposes on the other. Love gives freedom, and the freedom is possible only if there is space in your togetherness."

And to end this write up on a playful note here is an Osho joke:

Paddy's wife Maureen has had it. She goes to see her attorney, Abraham Babblebrain, and tells him she wants a divorce.

"Very well, Mrs O'Grady," says Babblebrain, "what are your grounds?
You have to have a reason for getting a divorce."

"Reason?" says Maureen. "Really? What sort of reason?"

"Well," says Babblebrain patiently, "for example, one reason would be if your husband does not give you enough money."

"Pah," snorts Maureen, "give me money? I give him money."

"Okay," says Babblebrain, "what about cruelty then? Does he beat you?"

"Pah," snorts Maureen again, "beat me? I beat him."

"Ah," says the lawyer, "so what about infidelity? Is he faithful to you in love?"

"That's it!" cries Maureen. "That's how we get him. I know for a fact that he is not the father of our third child."

From the book : Zen: The Diamond Thunderbolt # 1/courtesy Osho International Foundation/www.osho.com/library

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Chillout

Noam Chomsky About Serbia, Kosovo, Yugoslavia and NATO War

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noam_Chomsky